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And This is How You Get Extra Treats, Ocean’s Eleven Style

Our schedule is pretty solid.

Each morning we get up we go out and I get to sniff around and bark and do my perimeter sweep. Then we go in and get our morning snacks and Tucker gets his meds (They say it’s for allergies, I think its because he’s not right in the head). Our persons go to work then Gramma shows up for our dinner and then we hang out. When it is close to bed time we go out and I repeat my morning patrol and sniffing and barking. Then we go inside to our spots and get treats.

Simple enough.

Now this is where I game the system.

There are two ways I can game this systems my Mom and Dad set up and I don’t think they’re on to it yet. So I have to play it cool and switch it up from time to time and not get too greedy.

Here is Con number one, I call it the Chubby Checker.

Like I noted above we go out prior to our bed times. Then we come back in and we get snacks in our spots.  Then the lights go out and we go to sleep.  Sometimes when all the levers fall into place I can pull a Chubby Checker.  Its a two dog con and requires the help of my little brother so the odds are usually against us because he isn’t to swift when it comes to the con. He’s what you call honest.

So the Chubby Checker requires that mom and dad stay up a little later after we go out the first time.  Usually a good half hour.  If they do then I have to get Tucker to want to go outside.  If I had a GSD brother like myself it wouldn’t be a bit difficult.  But Tucker is an easy mark and usually putting my ears up and barking out the window gets him going. Then I rush down the stairs and that usually gets him to follow.

Now an aside, Tucker doesn’t have the best Tell when he needs to go out so Mom and Dad usually follow him right down the stairs because that usually means he has to go out and that is the linchpin of my plan.  He goes downstairs and we get to go out again.

And that is when my plan matures.

Ranger in the Grass

You see after we go outside we come in again and we go right back to our spots.  Which means treats.  According to Dad we already had them and he usually is cold hearted enough to not give us extra treats.  But that is neither here nor there because what I go for is the Mom.  She’s the soft touch and with the right look and sad Shepherd eyes I can get more stuff for me, and by extension Tucker gets some more, but that is just a side effect I have to live with, kinda like those bad side effects you here about on the medication commercials. The benefits, i.e. me getting more treats, outweigh the risks, i.e. Tucker getting more treats.

Mom usually caves and we get an extra set of treats.

Now Con number 2, which I call the Brian Wilson

If I don’t move forward with the Chubby Checker I can fall back on the Brian Wilson.  Where the Chubby Checker is a higher risk for a higher rewards, risking that Tucker will take the bait and go downstairs, tends to get meaty jerky treats, the higher reward. The Brian Wilson is a more conservative con that pays out nine times out of ten but with a lower value reward, cookies not jerky. But it is still extra treats so I see it as a win.

The Brian Wilson is easy and I play on Tucker’s need to be on the bed.  So I get on the bed prior to him and to Mom and Dad.  Once I’ve staked out my claim on the bed Tucker can’t get up there.  Or if he does then it is the four of us on the bed.

Here is the problem.

I don’t like sleeping in the bed with that many bodies and when I go to get up I can nudge Tucker into growling at me which gets him in trouble (They haven’t caught on yet that I nudge him). Dad and Mom know that I won’t stay in the bed over night so they offer me cookies to get on my spot in the hallway (Which I was going to get off anyway so it is not like I’m doing something I don’t want to do).  So once again it’s a win-win for me.  I win because I get extra treats and I win because I still get to sleep wherever I want on my own terms.  Granted Tucker gets extra treats but that, once again, is a side effect.

And that is how I get extra treats.  Tucker does as well but it is because of my machinations. He just tags along.

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